Top ten mistakes that leaders make

Webinar recording from January of 2022 on the most egregious (and common) mistakes that leaders make.

Tiny dinosaurs surround a speech balloon with a big white ball of confusion and stress.

This is a webinar recording from January of 2022 on the top ten relationship mistakes leaders make. Join David Cory and Jill Cory while they review their list of top ten mistakes and the underlying beliefs and the emotional intelligence competencies that relate. 

The ‘Belief’ category is self-explanatory, but the ‘High EQ Competency’ may require some explanation. What we are indicating is that this could be a higher scoring EQ competency (on the EQ-i 2.0) for this individual, however, it works against their effectiveness as a leader. The idea being that any strength that is overused or used in the wrong way can become a weakness. The idea behind the ‘Low EQ Competency’ category is that this may be a lower score on the EQ-i 2.0 for an individual and help us to explain more about why they might be making this relationship mistake. Please watch the recording and let us know if you have any questions.

These are presented in no particular order. Enjoy!

Mistake #1: “Because I said so…” 

This is an easy one to fall into, and sometimes leaders forget that the best leaders are committed to relationship building and coaching the people who report to them. It was never an acceptable response from a parent and it’s never an acceptable response to an adult if your goal is to build relationships of trust.

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
Leader knows bestSelf-RegardStress Tolerance

#2: “Die before you cry…”

This is pervasive and still a dominant perspective in some corners. Emotional expression is widely, and incorrectly, thought to undermine status and general competency. 

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
Emotions are weak and interfere with decision-makingIndependenceEmotional Self-Awareness

#3: “Suck it up princess…”

Old school, traditional, leaders who aren’t themselves personally fussed by things, fail to understand that others are under stress or struggling with something.

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
Everybody should handle stress like I doStress ToleranceReality Testing

#4: “We’ve always done it this way…”

When a small number of people make decisions, innovation can often get overlooked. Who is “us” anyway?

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
It’s always worked for usStress ToleranceReality Testing

#5: “Do as I say, not as I do…”

People with power and privilege develop a sense of entitlement: stratified entitlement.

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
I am entitledIndependenceSocial Responsibility

#6: “Fix the roof in the rain…”

This idea comes from a John F. Kennedy saying that we should fix the roof when the sun is shining. Trust is earned and relationships are built

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
Deserve trust because of positionSelf-Regard
Self-Actualization
Interpersonal Relationships
Impulse Control

#7: “No stick Nick…”

Conflict is necessary for all parties in a relationship to be heard. Evasion is not the way.

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
Conflict is scary/bad, or I am untouchable, arrogantFlexibility
Independence
Self-Regard
Reality Testing

#8: “Make room for my ego…”

When men work from a paradigm of central, superior, and deserving, bad things ensue. Relationships require mutuality, trust, connection, and caring.

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
I am central, superior and deservingEmotional ExpressionEmotional Self-Awareness

#9: “Get’er done…”

When leaders, or members of the team become more focussed on productivity than taking care of their relationships, problems get deferred, but not addressed.

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
Productivity is the only workplace measure of successSelf-ActualizationEmpathy

#10: “I know I shouldn’t tell you this, but…”

Gossip has a complicated, and often important, role in communities with power differentials. However, when it’s used by people with power, it can damage relationships. 

BeliefHigh EQ CompetencyLow EQ Competency
Appear powerful when I have informationSelf-RegardSocial Responsibility
Impulse Control

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