The Emotional Intelligence of Being ‘Here Now’
Have you noticed all the hype about back to school? I was at an office supply store yesterday and kids with their parents were everywhere frantically buying up school supplies. It was a little strange. August doesn’t seem like ‘back-to-school’ month! Well if you watch TV ads you might think it started in July. Why is it that marketers are starting earlier and earlier to advertise their products? Some might say it’s good planning. I think it’s another one of our societal ills. We just can’t seem to be in the moment and enjoy what’s here now.
We seem to have a need to be “there then” and not “here now.” What’s wrong with this? What’s wrong is the danger of missing what is contained in the here and now. In the here and now are how we think and feel about the people that we’re with and the situations we’re in. Also in the here and now are the emotions of the people we’re with. When we are not attending to the present, we are in danger of missing this information. Contained within this information are opportunities to deepen and strengthen relationships – with ourselves and with others. These opportunities are missed when we do not strive to be present in every situation and that is not emotionally intelligent.
Where is your focus? Are you primarily here now or there then? What is hard about being present and in the moment versus being future oriented and do you experience any ill effects of either one? Please comment below.
Hi David!
Thanks for the Emotional Intelligence of ‘Being Here’ Now. Over the years I have come to see the need to live in the moment – to absolutely stop – and take in whatever is staring me in the face. I wonder if this has something to do with age? Could it have something to do with the realization of our own mortality? Similar to appreciation, it becomes more pronounced through experience – especially if the experience causes pain and loss. Robert Starratt (Ethical Leadership) also speaks of the importance of presence in order to lead authentically. I believe that the strength of any relationship has its roots in presence. Awareness of self and others begins here now – cause we may never get to the there then – and that’s just sad.
Hi Tracy, thanks for your comment. I really liked that you used the word “appreciation”! Appreciation is very relevant. Appreciation is stopping to consider what we have, what we’ve done, who we have in our lives – it is positively thinking about the ‘here and now.’ I also liked that you talked about “awareness” – again, awareness happens in the ‘here and now’, of self and others – critical to act in emotionally intelligent ways! Thanks again and nice to hear from you – as always! David